


Lists of Who You Are

by the_jedi_ninja



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Finnpoe - Freeform, First Kiss, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Mild Angst, Poe Dameron/Finn Fluff, Romance, Stormpilot, it's mostly fluff, rebel finn, that ends in fluff, waaaaa these two fluff bags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 20:59:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7656541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_jedi_ninja/pseuds/the_jedi_ninja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>" “I just don’t know so much about myself.” Finn spoke out of the blue, his voice soft but still somewhat frustrated.<br/>Poe made a noise from the back of this throat in response, to show that he was listening and Finn should continue if he wanted to. "</p><p>In which Finn is contemplative and Poe is there to listen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lists of Who You Are

“What you doing out here buddy?”  
Poe asked the question as he gently sat down in the grass next to Finn. Finn had been missing since dinner ended and Poe had been concerned about him. It hadn’t been hard to track him to the grassy knoll outside the main base. It was a popular place for people to get away from things; far enough that it took that bit of extra effort to get to, but close enough that you knew you weren’t going to miss anything dramatic at base. Poe had been out there himself the odd time. Mostly when missions went wrong and he needed space to breathe. Poe looked down at the base from this vantage point, thinking that it looked quite pretty from up here. All the lights shining from windows, shadows moving across them and the runway, faint whispers of noises floating up to them. Home for the moment for him, home until the Resistance won and he could go back to his real home knowing the good fight had been fought.

“Just thinking,” replied Finn. He was sitting crosslegged, but had kicked his shoes and socks off, letting his dark toes feel the grass beneath them. Poe figured there hadn’t been much room for simple sensual pleasures like that in The First Order.  
“Anything in particular?” Poe didn’t want to pry, but he wanted Finn to know that he was here if he wanted to talk. Finn just shook his head in reply.

For a long time there was silence between the two men. There was no sound but the buzz of bugs and insects around them and the few faint noises from the base below them. Poe had lain back on the grass, the short blades of it tickling his neck. He didn’t want to force Finn to talk but he wanted him to be comfortable enough to. Poe wasn't really sure how to do that. There was just something about Finn that got to him. Poe wanted to be the one that Finn turned to, the first one that saw Finn’s wide enthusiastic smile when he remembered he could do something for the first time without permission, the person that he eventually told what was on his mind during those rare periods when he would get quiet and contemplative. Poe was used to being charming and funny and flirty with people, but this was something different entirely, that didn’t work with Finn. He wanted to be serious about helping Finn, about Finn knowing he wanted to help.  
The night was warm, and Poe was comfortable, so much so that he wouldn’t have been surprised if he fell asleep right there on the grass, thinking about the person next to him.

“I just don’t know so much about myself.” Finn spoke out of the blue, his voice soft but still somewhat frustrated.  
Poe made a noise from the back of this throat in response, to show that he was listening and Finn should continue if he wanted to.  
“I mean-” Finn paused and plucked a blade of grass rolling it nervously between his fingers. “So Jess is funny, Snap is sensitive, you’re amazing, Rey is brave, the General quite frankly is formidable, C3PO is pedantic. But what am I?” At this Finn gave a short bitter laugh. “Even the droids know more about themselves than I do. I don’t know anything about myself.”  
Poe sat up. Finn’s monologue explained a lot and frankly should have been expected. He’d come from a life where all individually was beaten out of them into a place where people were constantly trying to prove how different they were from everyone else. No wonder the poor bloke was feeling confused.  
“Slow down there buddy. You know plenty about yourself.” He resisted the urge to ask if Finn really thought he was amazing.  
“Oh yeah, like what?”  
“Let’s start at the beginning.” Poe scooched closer to Finn, trying to convey comfort with his body language. “You’re pretty brave yourself.”  
“I don’t feel brave.”  
“Well you are. You broke ranks from one of the biggest brainwashing systems in the universe just to rescue a stranger. That doesn’t only make you brave, that makes you strong mentally.”  
Finn frowned and crinkled his brow and Poe wanted nothing more than to be able to make it smooth again. “But I only rescued you because I needed you to escape. That was selfish, that wasn’t brave.”  
Poe laughed, “Well thanks. There was me thinking that my charm and wit had won you over.”  
“No, that’s not what I-”  
Poe stopped his protests with a wave. “So we add selfish to the list of things you are. But we’re not taking brave off. I think that scar down your back is testament to that particular character trait.”  
“I was only doing that to protect Rey!” protested Finn again.  
Poe paused for a moment. How could he explain this to Finn? Like he’s any other person he decided.  
“Listen Finn. You really think people do brave things in isolation? Like you facing down Kylo Ren doesn’t make you brave just because you did it to try and protect Rey? Like you rescuing me out of selfish motives wasn’t still an incredibly risky thing to do? You’re never ‘just brave’. Other things motivate you to be brave. That’s what being alive is, what being in love is, what being sentient is; doing scary things for someone else because you can’t stand by and let the alternative happen.” Poe smiled at Finn. “And for the record, you’re the only person on this base who doesn’t think you’re brave.”  
“Really?”  
“Really,” replied Poe.

Finn looked a lot more relaxed now, this talk was clearly doing him a lot of good. Poe liked it when Finn relaxed, when he let down his guard and was genuine about things. He bumped his companions shoulder with this own.  
“So we got brave, selfish and mentally strong so far.” Poe counted them out on his fingers. “What else are we gonna add?”  
Finn thought about it for a while. “Well, I’m pretty good at hand-to-hand combat.”  
“So fighter,” said Poe, releasing another finger from his fist.  
“I can shoot a gun?”  
Poe shook his head. “Those are things you can do, not who you are.”  
Finn sunk into himself a little again. “I dunno Poe. How do you know who you are?”  
“It just takes time,” Poe replied softly. “I’m still figuring out who I am.”  
Finn looked at him with wide eyes. “But you’re Poe Dameron. You’re the best pilot in the resistance. You’re funny and witty and comforting and brave and- and everything!”  
Now it was Poe’s turn to be wide eyed. “You really think I’m all those things?”  
“Yeah well,” Finn looked at the ground embarrassed, plucking at the grass again. ‘You’re kinna something else Poe Dameron.”  
“Look who’s talking,” replied Poe softly. “You’re the one who’s kind and loyal and gentle and brave and tough and quite frankly, amazing.”

Finn looked up. Poe suddenly realised how close the two of them were. Had he done that, or had Finn? Poe had no idea, but he knew he was enjoying the closeness. He could see the eyelashes on Finn’s eyelids, make out the slight cracks on his dark lips. Was it his imagination, or were he and Finn still getting closer? Poe looked from Finn’s lips to his eyes and saw the same quick glance there that he had just done. Poe didn’t halt the slow movement of his body towards Finn’s and the next thing he knew his lips were on Finn’s and Finn was doing nothing to stop it.

It was like fireworks were going off in Poe’s brain and there was a hurricane in his stomach. He pressed a little harder against Finn and to his delight Finn responded in kind. Finn’s hand went lightly up the back of Poe’s neck and into his hair, winding his fingers into the short curls there. The contact was so electric Poe thought his skin might explode. Poe grabbed the front of Finn’s shirt and pulled him into him. He didn’t want this to end. Poe could feel the thudding of Finn’s heart against his chest and knew that his was doing the same. The kiss deepened and when Finn opened his mouth to Poe’s, Poe’s first thought was that he’d never had a kiss like this. Never had a kiss so good, so on fire, so right. Then he thought that Finn had probably never been kissed at all and that thought made him pull back, although gently, letting his lips linger on Finn’s because Poe didn’t really want to stop.

Their faces still inches from each other Finn turned his head slightly to look up at the sky. Poe did the same. The stars were bright tonight, the moon low in the sky and Poe wondered why he’d never noticed how beautiful it was before.  
“Pretty nice night for a first kiss,” said Finn.  
Poe smiled. “So are we adding romantic to that list then?”  
“I guess so.”

Poe laughed and gave Finn a quick peck on the lips before they had another kiss like that first one.

**Author's Note:**

> Find any lines that you particularly loved? Please let me know what they were! :)
> 
> Check out my slow burn university AU Stormpilot fic here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7497321/chapters/17040579


End file.
